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The Jerk Store Called
They're running out of you.
HELLO! it's fucking HOT outside 
10th-Aug-2009 02:58 pm
vacant, break
There is a bar across the street from the cafe I'm in that has a big patio, and right in my line of sight I can see this big lout sitting there. He's one of those chubby fellows with a dark five-o'clock-shadow and an inherently smug, obnoxious face. He has one arm flung casually over the patio fence. His white shirt is open almost down to his belly, exposing his chubby chest and scraggly chest hair. He lolls his head back and forth in a self-satisfied manner. With his free hand, he alternates gesticulating wildly and stuffing handfuls of food into his mouth.
The arm over the fence is clutching a cigarette which he occasionally brings to his mouth, inhales delicately from, and then puffs out a deliberate cloud, in a way that indicates that he is only smoking because he thinks it makes him look pretty fucking badass. Then he flings the arm back over the fence and stuffs more food into his mouth with the other hand.

I can't stop staring in his direction. GOD, I HATE HIM!!!!! Good thing these windows are one-way.

(OR ARE THEY? Perhaps he's looking at me too: "Oh fuck, look at that girl with her laptop in some indie cafe with some stupid unpronounceable fancy drink and her dress over pants and scarf in the fucking summer and shit. I HATE HER.)

Okay, I'm not actually wearing a scarf today, but you totally know I would. Fucking cafe kids.

...Honestly, since living in Halifax I feel naked without a scarf. Next place I move better have constant scarf-weather...

But seriously, you'll note I linked to the same clip twice in the above rant. I highly recommend watching it, and reaping its wise hilarity. My partner-in-emotions introduced me to Louis CK recently and I have decided that he is my new god. HE KNOWS JUST WHAT I AM LIKE INSIDE!

Oh, and I guess I turned 22 a little while ago. It's a nice, round age, so that's good, I guess. I'm hoping this will be an age for growth, but it's a little early to tell yet.
10th-Aug-2009 07:15 pm (UTC)
1. What are you doing online?!

2. Louis CK really is very funny! And that clip is good! Man! He knows what I am like inside sometimes! When I am judging and hating! Maybe I told you this, but when I went to see the Dalhousie Orchestra or something playing their instruments, I just HATED the soloist because of the stupid faces he was making. You could tell he was just so full of himself and his faces were just like, "This is SO difficult and the music is SO beautiful." It detracted from his obvious talent.

3. Good description of the douche, there! You writer of words, you.
12th-Aug-2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
1. I WAS WRITING I SWEAR. But I saw the guy and I just had to let my rage out. I first wrote that in notepad, but then was like THIS RAGE NEEDS TO BE SHARED IMMEDIATELY

2. Hahaha. I know what you're like. All "GOD, HER WATER BOTTLE IS SO UNNECESSARILY BIG". I am like that too. I think that is one reason why we are friends.
But uh, yeah, Louis CK is pretty good. You should seek some of his other clips if you liked that one... for example, his clip on gay marriage is pretty excellent...

3. Writer of words. That is what I am. And what can I say, my hatred runs deep!
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