There is a bar across the street from the cafe I'm in that has a big patio, and right in my line of sight I can see this big lout sitting there. He's one of those chubby fellows with a dark five-o'clock-shadow and an inherently smug, obnoxious face. He has one arm flung casually over the patio fence. His white shirt is open almost down to his belly, exposing his chubby chest and scraggly chest hair. He lolls his head back and forth in a self-satisfied manner. With his free hand, he alternates gesticulating wildly and stuffing handfuls of food into his mouth.
The arm over the fence is clutching a cigarette which he occasionally brings to his mouth, inhales delicately from, and then puffs out a deliberate cloud, in a way that indicates that he is only smoking because he thinks it makes him look pretty fucking badass. Then he flings the arm back over the fence and stuffs more food into his mouth with the other hand.
I can't stop staring in his direction. GOD, I HATE HIM!!!!!
Good thing these windows are one-way.
(OR ARE THEY? Perhaps he's looking at me too: "Oh fuck, look at that girl with her laptop in some indie cafe with some stupid unpronounceable fancy drink and her dress over pants and scarf in the fucking summer
and shit. I HATE HER.)
Okay, I'm not actually wearing a scarf today, but you totally know I would. Fucking cafe kids.
...Honestly, since living in Halifax I feel naked without a scarf. Next place I move better have constant scarf-weather...
But seriously, you'll note I linked to the same clip twice in the above rant. I highly recommend watching it, and reaping its wise hilarity. My partner-in-emotions introduced me to Louis CK recently and I have decided that he is my new god. HE KNOWS JUST WHAT I AM LIKE INSIDE!
Oh, and I guess I turned 22 a little while ago. It's a nice, round age, so that's good, I guess. I'm hoping this will be an age for growth, but it's a little early to tell yet.